


Who Said Work Can't Be Fun

by SoaringBallad



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crack, Humor, Ice Cream, M/M, Sea Salt Ice Cream (Kingdom Hearts), sorry Luxord
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 02:18:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15160241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoaringBallad/pseuds/SoaringBallad
Summary: A collection of short stories featuring Kingdom Hearts characters. Not to be taken too seriously.Ch 1: Vexen makes ice cream & Zexion gets a sweaty sock put on his wrist.





	Who Said Work Can't Be Fun

**Health and Healing**

The book in front of Zexion kept wobbling, not quite staying steady enough for him to properly read. Vexen was holding it with his left hand while he was stirring the mixture in front of him with his right. Frustrated, Zexion reached out to try and stabilize it.

“What do you think you are doing?” Vexen inquired, pulling the book away from Zexion’s hand. “You can’t hold this with your injured wrist.” Zexion rolled his visible eye.

“Then I’ll hold it with my other hand.”

“Out of the question. Knowing you, you’ll be holding that book with your injured hand the moment I turn my back.” Zexion hated it when Vexen treated him like some sort of incapable child.

“How much longer will it be?” Xemnas asked. He figured making ice cream would be child’s play for the genius scientist, but this was his eighth batch, and it had already been four hours.

“Brilliance is worth waiting for,” Vexen replied not even looking up.

“Get that off a fortune cookie?” Zexion asked sarcastically.

“Get that off a- get that off a- a- a fortune cookie!” Vexen cried incredulously. “No, I don’t have time to be sitting on the toilet after eating chinese food. I have wok to do.”

“As fun as it is to watch you two sass each other back and forth, I’m getting kind of hungry,” Axel said with a sigh. He was planning on having ice cream with Roxas and Xion on the clock tower, but it was nearing midnight and would be past their bedtime. Axel would be fine if the flavor was different, but Roxas and Xion insisted that it had to be sea salt ice cream.

“What is so hard about making ice cream that is just salt?” Xigbar asked.

“It is _not_ just salt,” Vexen hissed, carefully stirring the lightly bubbling mixture, “it is a complex combination of flavors that give the ice cream a salty _and_ sweet flavor.”

“Then just add sugar,” Xaldin deadpanned. No one was happy about the fact that Xemnas wanted them all there to withstand the torture.

“It would be easier to work if I didn’t have so many imbeciles giving their two cents when they don’t know the chemistry of making ice cream,” Vexen said. He held a wooden spoon up to his eyes for careful inspection. When he saw how it coated the back of the tool just right he smiled. Larxene picked several gods and prayed that this would finally be the right flavor and they would all get to go to bed.

Vexen set to the task of cooling the ice cream to below 277 K. The group watched in boredom as the mixture got chilled. Vexen had explained the first time he was doing this why it was necessary to cool the ice cream down. Apparently it wasn’t just so it would freeze faster, but had something to do with fat globules crystallizing, but no one really understood.

Zexion stealthily picked up the book Vexen had discarded when he went to cool the ice cream. As soon as it was in his right hand, his injured one, Lexaeus took it from him. He opened the book up to a random page, one that Zexion had tried to read three times already, and held it for Zexion to see. There wasn’t much of a wobble when Lexaeus held the book, but said man liked to read along and he read far too slow for Zexion’s tastes. After Zexion finished reading the page for the fifth time, he grew bored and watched as Vexen meticulously chilled the ice cream. The others around the room had little to no sources of entertainment, and they all watched the slow process as well.

The door opened startling nearly everyone in the room. Vexen was so startled that he spilt some of the ice cream he was pouring into the machine that churned it. It was Roxas and Xion that entered the room. “When’s it going to be done?” Roxas whined, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“You should be in bed,” Axel scolded lightly. Even if he was mad, Roxas was just too cute when he was tired that any anger would evaporate instantly. “Let’s go get in bed.” Axel smirked suddenly, a plan coming to mind. If he left to put Roxas and Xion in bed and never came back, who would know that he decided to take a little nap?

“No!” Larxene called out quickly. “I’ll take Xion to bed!” A plan of her own had hatched in Larxene’s brain. If she took Xion to her room, then she could sneak off to her own room and take a nap. Who would know that she decided to take a little nap?

“That’s fine, just get out!” Vexen said, he was annoyed that he had spilt some of the ice cream and now had a mess to clean up.

“Now now, Vexen,” Xigbar said, “Don’t snap at us for your mistakes.”

“ _My_ mistakes?” Vexen said coldly.

At this point Zexion was tuning out the conversation because Lexaeus had finally flipped to the next page. After he finished reading that page three times, he began thinking of a way to make Lexaeus busy with something else so he could read on his own.

“Another twenty minute wait,” Saix grumbled when the ice cream started churning. “How much time have we wasted on this because of Axel and those stupid kids.”

“Less time than the munny they wasted buying all of that ice cream,” Xemnas said holding back tears. Things in the World that Never Was were not cheap, and their funds were dwindling fast. Soon he would not even be able to pay his employees. Minus the funds he set aside to get a fashionable new coat. He needed that coat.

Zexion rolled his visible eye. He knew that Xemnas was being stingy because he was saving up munny to buy a new coat. He was the one who was forced to go with Xemnas to the store to look at getting a new coat. No matter what they did to save munny though, Xemnas would never be able to afford the fur-trimmed coat… thankfully.

Needing a breather from the room and wanting to get away from his whiny co-workers, Zexion made the excuse of going to the kitchen to get some ice for his wrist. No one questioned him, and he was doubtful that anyone was even listening. Lexaeus was too caught up in the third paragraph on the page to notice him leaving.

After getting to the kitchen, Zexion realized he was not alone. Demyx was sitting in the kitchen nursing a mug of what appeared to be hot cocoa. He really hoped it wasn’t coffee because he could see tiny marshmallows in the coffee colored liquid.

“Hey Zexy! What are you up to?” Demyx asked. “I’m having a cup of coffee to warm myself up. I was having trouble sleeping.” Zexion was taken aback at first. He had tiny marshmallows in his coffee. He had tiny _marshmallows_ in his _coffee_. Getting over his disgust, Zexion then wondered why Demyx was allowed to sleep when all of the other members had to stay to be tortured by Vexen’s attempts at making ice cream. He then remembered that Roxas and Xion were not the only ones with an enforced bedtime.

“Isn’t it past your curfew,” Zexion said coldly. Demyx pouted.

“I couldn’t sleep!” Demyx whined loudly. “It’s not my fault. I just thought a warm beverage would help me sleep better.”

“Then why are you drinking coffee? Coffee is supposed to help you become more alert,” Zexion said.

“Oh! Is that why people drink it in the morning? I always wondered,” Demyx pondered aloud. Zexion rolled his visible eye. He then remembered what he came into the kitchen for and grabbed some ice from the freezer. He looked around for something to put the ice in, but couldn’t find a Ziploc bag.

Demyx, noticing what he was doing, quickly peeled off his sock. “Here ya go!” he said cheerfully holding out the article of clothing. Zexion was confused. “I’ll do it.” Demyx got to work stuffing the ice Zexion had pulled out into the sock. Zexion’s nose wrinkled up in disgust. He could smell the sock the second he came into the kitchen. No way was he letting Demyx--

“Nice and soft,” Demyx said pressing the ice-filled sock to Zexion’s swollen wrist. Zexion did have to admit that Demyx did have a good choice in socks.

The sock was really soft and fuzzy and… slightly damp? There was no way the ice melted that fast so the damp feeling must’ve been from… Zexion felt bile rise up in his throat at the thought of the sweat from Demyx’s sock touching his arm, but strangely he didn’t make any move to pull the sock away. It could have had something to do with the fact that with how close Demyx was he could no longer smell the sweaty sock, but was instead smelling warm sand and salty water. The scent was making his head swim and he felt like he couldn’t think as clearly as normal.

Finally he was broken out of the spell when he noticed that Demyx was pulling them both to sit in the kitchen chairs. He was surprised that Demyx didn’t release him when he sat and instead pulled them both down to sit in the chair.

“You’re warm, Demyx mumbled sleepily. He nuzzled the top of his head into Zexion’s hair. Zexion lightly batted him away, but he had to admit to himself that he kind of enjoyed sitting with Demyx.

“What are you two up to?” Zexion jumped away from Demyx quickly despite Demyx trying to pull him back. Marluxia stood there with a smirk on his face. He let out a snicker at seeing their display.

“I was just having some coffee because I couldn’t sleep,” Demyx answered casually. Marluxia raised an eyebrow at his response but not questioning further seeing the mug full of coffee-colored liquid. There was a bit of a white foam on top.

“So what have you two been doing together?” Marluxia probed. He was always on the prowl for some good gossip to share with Larxene.

“We were just enjoying each other’s company,” Demyx said simply. “That’s what friends do.” Zexion’s eye widened in surprise. Why was Demyx calling them friends?

“Co-workers,” Zexion corrected harshly. It was Demyx’s turn to be surprised.

“Nuh-uh, we’re friends,” Demyx said. “Who cares if we don’t have hearts,” he said, cutting off Zexion’s next argument.

“Just friends?” Marluxia asked, probing further.

“Just friends,” Zexion said despite not liking it. He would rather concede they were friends than let Marluxia get the wrong idea. Marluxia nodded his head.

“If that’s what this is. Care to explain why you have an article of Demyx’s clothing in your hands? I know what sort of dirty activities you two were going to get up to.”

“He forced his sock onto me. I didn’t have a choice. It’s really not what it looks like. Stop looking at me like that,” Zexion felt his cool slipping. Deciding whatever torture Vexen was inflicting on everyone would be better than this, Zexion made his excuse to get out of there and get back to Vexen. Marluxia patted him on the head as he left. It was degrading and made him want to say something, but he focused on leaving the room instead.

“Where were you,” Vexen asked when he got back in. When he saw the sock full of ice he grew confused. “Did you remove your sock?”

“No?” Zexion was unsure how he got to that conclusion until he remembered that Demyx’s sock was still on his injury. “Yes.”

“Yes or no?” Vexen asked, annoyed at the two different answers.

“Yes!” Zexion answered a little too loud. Vexen raised an eyebrow immediately suspicious. By this point everyone was watching the drama unfold and forgot about the churning ice cream.

“Tell me the truth,” Vexen demanded using his father voice. He was wondering where Zexion would get a sock that wasn’t his own. It wasn’t like Zexion had any friends.

“It was from his friend,” Marluxia unhelpfully supplied.

“Friend?” Vexen’s other eyebrow rose.

“He’s not really my friend,” Zexion said getting defensive.

“So you _are_ more than friends,” Marluxia said. Now this was getting juicy. As the churned ice cream leaked over the side everyone leant forward to hear the drama.

“I didn’t say that,” Zexion snapped. He hadn’t realized Marluxia was in here, but it made sense as he was the only one who knew Demyx and Zexion were _friends_.

“Yeah, we’re friends, what’s so wrong with that,” Demyx said, mug of coffee in his hand. It had been refilled with mini dehydrated marshmallows, leading to the impression he had hot cocoa instead of coffee. “I think you should be more concerned about your thick blue cake batter spilling out of the mixer.

“Cake batter?” Vexen asked. He couldn’t remember making a cake. Leave it to Demyx to talk about weird things late at night. Considering his ramblings irrelevant he turned back to the important conversation at hand. “Zexion is it time that I talk to you about the birds and the bees?”

“NO!” Zexion shouted, face turning scarlet instantly.

“I’m out,” Xaldin said, not willing to put up with this any longer. He would be too embarrassed to sit through Zexion getting the birds and the bees talk.

“No,” Xigbar said, grabbing Xaldin’s shoulder, “You need to stay and help Vexen out with giving this talk.

“I don’t need Vexen or Xaldin, or anyone for that matter explaining intercourse to me. I understand how that works!” Zexion shouted, face turning even more scarlet.

“Oh, so you are more than friends,” Marluxia said. Zexion let out a frustrated noise and stormed out of the room. He stomped back to his room and sat on his bed.

He hadn’t noticed Lexaeus had followed him, until he spoke up, “I know it can be embarrassing to have **the talk** , but I promise I will make it as painless as possible.”

“I don’t need it!” Zexion screamed tired of the constant hassling. He buried his face in his pillow, willing to just forget the day ever happened.

“I know you are embarrassed, but most children your age are getting this talk. This is when you start getting curious about your body and--”

“OUT!” Zexion yelled, finally having enough. Lexaeus was respectful enough to abide by his wishes.

On his way out, Demyx let himself in, ignoring the curious look Lexaeus gave him. “Hey.” It was the lamest greeting in history, but he couldn’t really think of anything else to say. “I brought your book.” He held up the book Zexion had been trying to read for the past few hours.

“Just come in,” Zexion said. Demyx took that as an invitation to jump onto the bed with Zexion and snuggle up to him. Zexion let out a noise of surprise but just allowed it to happen. He was sick of trying to fight people tonight.

“So what’s this book about?” Demyx asked as he opened up the book.

“It’s about the electromagnetic field theory,” Zexion answered as he made grabby hands at the book.

“Nuh-uh,” Demyx said, “you aren’t allowed to hold it.” He pulled Zexion between his legs and opened up the book in front of them. Zexion noticed that the book did not wobble much and it was easy enough to turn the page from where he was sat. Demyx would likely have no interest in reading the book, so he could go at his own pace.

For the first time tonight, he could read and relax.


End file.
